Coping After the Breakup - Should You Try To Get Your Ex Back?

By  GUEST WRITER  Ilona Benes

Ilona Benes

   Coping after a breakup is very difficult for anyone. It makes you feel as if your world has come to a dead stop, and the mixed feelings you have toward your ex make you wonder if you should even waste your time trying to get your ex back.

   Your family and friends gather around to give you the support you need, and, although it's really great that they care so much about you, it is you and only you, that can decide whether or not you should try to do it. This is a heavy weight to carry around on your shoulders every day - what on earth do you do?

   The feelings you have after your relationship has failed can slowly drive you insane, especially when you don't know what to do. Luckily though, there are articles like this one, which give you excellent advice, to help you cope, and help you make that all-important decision - should you try to get your ex back, or should you simply get on with your own life.

   First of all, what were the reasons for the breakup? Did the relationship come to an end because of a few petty little things that can be fixed reasonably easily, or was it due to something more serious, like physical or mental abuse, substance abuse, infidelity, or other really bad things? 

   If the relationship ended because of trivial differences, then by all means, do what you have to, to fix them. There is no doubt that you still love each other very deeply, and have simple parted for a while, to lick your respective wounds. You probably won’t even have to try to hard to get your ex back under these circumstances - it will more than likely just happen on its own.

   However, if the split was due to some of the other things mentioned, the really bad things, then you should really think VERY hard about trying to reconcile. If any of these things occur in a relationship, it is doomed from the start - there is no possible way that it can ever work out. 

   Studies have proved time and again, that when a person gets violent during an argument, there is very little chance that they will ever change. Mental abuse is even worse than physical abuse - it is silent, and there is absolutely no proof that it ever occurred. A person that stays in a relationship that involves mental abuse will be a victim for as long as the relationship carries on. 

   While there is a chance to help someone who is dependent on alcohol or drugs, it is also a long process, and can even take years before the person is finally free of the addiction. There are times too, when therapy does not help at all, and the person remains an addict for the rest of his/her life. As far as cheating goes, if it occurs in a relationship, there is about a fifty-fifty chance that the relationship can be salvaged.

   Read through this article a few times if you wish - it will definitely help you to make the decision as to whether or not your should try to get your ex back.

Couple after getting back together