Is It Worth the Effort to Try to Get Your Ex Back?


By GUEST WRITER Ilona Benes

 Ilona Benes

 

   Just when you were convinced that he/she was the one that you would be spending the rest of your life with, your world came crumbling down at your feet - you broke up! Left totally confused, and suffering badly with the pain of the break up, you are wondering now whether or not you should try to get your ex back.

   You feel that it is a hopeless situation, and that there is no chance whatsoever, of getting your ex back and being blissfully happy again, as you were before. People are giving you all sorts of conflicting advice - some say you should forget about your ex entirely, and there are others that are telling you to do whatever it takes - beg, if necessary, to win your ex back. What are you to do? Where do you begin?

   Well, first things first - the most important thing to remember now, is that you and your ex as well, are feeling equally as enraged and hurt - if it was a major argument that caused the break up. This is actually a good thing because, all you have to do, is simply give those feelings enough time to blow over, and the chances are very good that you and your ex will get together to talk things over and get back together again, anyway.

   However, if it was your ex that decided to end the relationship and walked out on you, then things are very different indeed. There are several things that you have to consider, before you try to get your ex back. The main reason why you and your ex got involved in the first place, is because you fell deeply in love with each other. You have to figure out whether this intense love is still there - for both you and your ex as well, before you try to win your ex back.

Do you and your ex still truly love each other?

   Obviously, with your emotions running riot like they are right now, your immediate answer is going to be that you do still love your ex - body and soul. But you need to think about this very carefully first, without being impulsive about it. That major argument you had - surely your ex said things at the time that really dug deep, that could have made you change your opinion about him/her? Could it not be possible that those things have made you fall out of love with your ex, and it is only because of the grief of the breakup, that you think you still love your ex the way you used to?

   Make sure first, that you do want to get your ex back because your feelings for him/her have not changed, and that it is not simply because you want to take revenge, and get your ex back only to give him/her the same treatment, and end the relationship again at some point.

   Then there is also the matter of whether or not your ex still has deep feelings for you as well. Somehow, through talking to your mutual friends, you need to find out if your ex still loves you or not, and whether or not there is a chance of the two of you reuniting.

   A lot depends on the love you had for each other, and if that love is still there, as to whether or not it would be worth your while to make an effort to get your ex back.

 

Getting your ex back - Is it really worth to even try?