Simmer Down Before You Try to Get Your Ex
By GUEST WRITER Ilona
course, you're hurt and angry after the
breakup - who wouldn't be? On the
one hand, you feel like slapping your ex, you're so angry with him/her, but, in spite of that terrible run-in
you had with your ex, those deep, loving feelings are still there, and you know that if you
don't get your ex
back, life will not be
worth living anymore.
Your emotions are
running wild right now, and you are having this enormous battle with yourself - should you use violence to let your
ex know just how angry you are, or do you write off all those nasty things that he/she said to you, and do all you
can to reconcile with your ex?
The bottom line is,
you are in no position now, to do either of these things - it is too soon after the breakup. For instance, if you
happen to see your ex somewhere, and you do start pushing him/her around because of your anger, it might make you
feel a little better at that moment, but after a while, you will realize just how dumb that was, and regret that
you did it. Or, if you bump into your ex and become all emotional, and start crying and say how desperate you are
to get your ex back, the only thing you will be doing then, is crushing your dignity, and making a total fool of
yourself in front of everyone, including your ex.
The thing is, your
emotions are so raw at this stage of the game, that you will not be able to help yourself - you don't know right
now how you will react if and when you do see your ex. So, the best thing to do is to do your level best to NOT see
your ex at all right now. If you want to have any
chance at all to get your ex back, you HAVE to give your emotions enough time to settle down
Yes, this is easier
said than done, and guess what, everyone goes through this same procedure when their relationship comes to an end.
The thing is, you have to think realistically about your situation, and go about it slowly - one step at a time. It
is vital that you don't rush into things - you WILL spoil that one chance you have to get back together again.
You must remember
too, that your ex is also in the same messed-up emotional state as you are. He/she was also involved in that major
clash you had, and is also hurting and fuming over things that you said or did during the argument. In other words,
your ex also needs some time to let his/her emotions simmer down before he/she will be able to think
While you and your ex
are taking time away from each other, you will more than likely start to remember the terrible things you said to
each other, and you need to be able to think properly about these things, and what you can do to rectify them. The
chances are that after some time, you will not be so angry with each other, but will be more angry at yourselves
for saying those stupid, hurtful things, and will want to see each other to apologize and make things right again -
this is the way to get your ex back.
don't mess up that
one chance you have to reconcile - leave your ex alone for a while, and let your emotions get back to normal again.
You and your ex will be thinking on the same level then, and there is a good chance that you will be able to
sort out your problems in a relaxed way, and get back together again.