Trying to Get Your Ex Back? Learn The Most Popular Mistakes People Make After a Breakup!

by Emma Audley

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   Breaking up is a shocking experience that leaves emotional scars to every one of us. We all have suffered from a breakup at least once in our lifetime. It is why people understand the desperation and emotional agony broken hearted lovers go through right after a breakup. This short article is structured to show you ten of the most popular mistakes people make after a seperation.

   If you want to get your ex back, there are a few things you should remember not to do. Although it is easy to make those mistakes and everyone is expecting that, keep in mind that you should by any means avoid making them. It is time consuming, your nerves will be stretched down to the maximum, and the most affected one in this process shall be our ego.

   So, if you are ready to risk all that to get your ex back, beware of the following things:

   1. Manage your anger and impulses. A rational, calculated person is always in control of the situation, and that is exactly what your lover needs to see if you want to get your ex back.

   2. Don't send any gifts to your partner. You may want to invest in yourself, not in your ex. There are two reasons to do that:

   - if you want to get your ex back, you can't go on looking like a regular person; your ex is going to have a hard time noticing you. I'm not saying that you should dress like Lady Gaga to draw your ex's attention, but a bit more care and attention to how you look like should definitely make you feel better.

   - if you don't get back with your ex, you'll feel sorry for all the wasted time and money. Your ex will feel overwhelmed and won't appreciate your gifts anyway.

   3. Do not blame your partner for the breakup. There must be something you've done as well so try not to think about your ex's fault. Concentrate on your mistakes and make sure you don't repeat them.

   4. Don't do anything your ex would expect you to do after the breakup: don't show any sign of sorrow, anger, desperation or lust.

   5. Don't even cry for your ex. Hold your tears inside and protect your eyes. You'll need that mysterious, deep look when you meet with your ex. Remain calm. It'll all pass.

   6. Never talk to your ex about the times you had together. It won't mean anything to the one who has chosen to break away from all that's been between you. Save your energy for smarter, more inciting conversations. Nostalgic people never have that much audience anyway. So no "remember that time when...", no "I wish we could go back to what it was and how we were", no "we've been through so many things. How could you forget so soon?"

   7. Never seek for your ex's pity. It is degrading and so will your ex perceive you if you do that. Pity can't be the foundation of a relationship; nobody will be with you because they pity you. Your ex is no exception

   8. Don't involve anyone else in your attempt to get your ex back. Keep your family and friends away from sticking their noses. It may be harder to do it after long term relationships, when you've already met each other's relatives and you have made many common friends. Clear out the situation and let your friends interfere only in limited situations. Don't let them try to soften your ex's heart. Only you can do that.

   9. Don't promise you'd change if you know you can't. Once, your ex has fallen in love with you for who you were. People don't change over night, but if they do, they can't make a complete transformation. If you are the possessive type - for instance - you'll still be jealous on your ex no matter what. Just don't show it to your lover; it's safer that way.

   10. Be strong for both of you. Your ex is also vulnerable after the breakup, therefore impulsiveness and a critical attitude will make your ex want to stay even further away from you. Be patient and understand your ex's need of space and time after the separation. It's for your sake too.

   © Copyright Emma Audley, 2009


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